So I'm back, and here's what's on my mind...........

Throughout the course of our lives, we face continuous challenges, struggles, and setbacks. This is an inevitable fact of life to which none of us are immune. No matter if we are rich, poor, young or old, famous or anonymous; our lives are constantly rife with tests and trials. And of course, much of our time and energy seem to be spent trying to overcome the tests in front of us rather than reaping the benefits of the challenges we've left behind.

"Be Deliberate in Judgment" Last year, on Shavuot I think, I stumbled upon this verse in Pirkei Avot (Ethics of our Fathers) and it's helped shed some light on the mindset required to overcome and succeed in the face of many of life's challenges. It feels a bit weird to say I "stumbled" on this verse as it's located in the very first Mishna within the first chapter of Avot, and in fact is the very first piece of advice offered by our sages to the subsequent multitudes of generations to study these words from our Fathers. (This should tell us something of the importance our forefathers placed on this statement, by making it the very first statement of the entire tractate.) Be deliberate in judgment

Perhaps I "stumbled" over this little jewel because most of the commentaries surrounding this statement seem to revolve around judging your fellow neighbors, co-workers, spouse, and friends in a favorable manner. While this lesson of judging others favorably is crucial to maintaining a sense of humility, and also to maintaining healthy relationships with human beings and G-d as well, I find many of the existing commentaries on this first Mishna to be somewhat lacking and missing the mark. First of all, doesn't the Mishna choose the word "deliberate" and not "favorable"? There's a big difference between these two words. And secondly, the popular commentaries tend to focus on the judgment of others. Rarely have I seen commentaries developed around the concept of being deliberate in the judgment of one's self as well as the situations one may find him/herself struggling through. But sitting on the rocks of Diversey Harbor one day last year, I realized that perhaps, at least in my own mind, this is what our forefathers really meant when they said Be deliberate in judgment.

Many times we are our own harshest critics and I think the same can be said for being our own harshest skeptics. Sometimes it can be difficult to see the forest through the trees. And unfortunately, when we have a skewed or inaccurate image of ourselves, we find it much more difficult to relate to the people around us in a healthy manner. How many times have we judged ourselves too harshly based solely on of our recent actions and behavior instead of looking at all we have done in our lives, how much we've grown, and just as importantly, if not more so, how much further we will go. The final verdict's not even in yet, so how can we possibly proclaim a judgment on ourselves?

How many times have we found ourselves in situations that seem impossible to work through and which seem to have no chance of a successful outcome, only to find ourselves feeling completely relieved with the final results? I know that in my lifetime, I've been through many situations like this. I've also seen family members and friends struggle through situations that can leave them desperate, confused, and even depressed. Yet in almost every case, the end result was one that far exceeded their expectations and left them feeling a tremendous sense of relief and thankfulness.

To be deliberate means to slow down, take your time, and try not to be hasty. Let things play out, give things a chance. This applies not just to how we treat others, but to how we treat ourselves. Before we can judge others fairly and accurately, we must be able to do the same for ourselves. Unfortunately, many people rarely look back and learn from their mistakes in this area and continually find themselves repeating the same process. Admittedly, it can be quite painful to realize that we, as humans, tend to jump to conclusions which lead us to a resistance to the belief that success is possible, and that the situation really isn't as bad as it seems. More times than not, we act as a judge delivering the verdict long before hearing and seeing all the facts.

I believe the lesson our forefathers' wanted to teach us was not only about judging others favorably, but also about the power of time and how it affects our judgments about ourselves and those around us. The key is to be a person of level-headedness, not jumping to conclusions. We needn't judge ourselves, our environment, and our friends before gathering all the facts and allowing for sufficient time to sink in. Do not allow the fear that comes along with difficult situations to become your demise. Life is a challenge and will always be filled with the usual ups and downs, blessings and curses. But by keeping a steady hand, a balanced outlook, and allowing the facts to develop we will be able to cross the bridge.

And whatever applies to us as individuals also applies to us as a Nation, so I think this principal can easily be applied to the Jewish People as a whole. We've overcome every other challenge we've faced, and with time, wisdom, and Hashem's guidance, we will overcome our current predicament as well. We must remember to be deliberate in our judgment of our situation today, tomorrow, and always. But as we've seen in the past, our problems of today and tomorrow are sure to be resolved with an outcome that far exceeds any of our expectations.

Shabbat Shalom

Dedicated to my Mom and her new discovery after all these years!!! And also to the women in my ulpan who moved their families halfway across the world to live in Israel and raise their beautiful children without having a husband/father in the home. G-d bless you.

Moses received the Torah from Sinai and transmitted it to Joshua; Joshua to the Elders; the Elders to the Prophets; and the Prophets to the Men of the Great Assembly. They (the Men of the Great Assembly) said three things: Be deliberate in judgment, develop many disciples, and make a fence around the Torah.

posted by Avi G @ 15:30